The Healing Power Of Forgiveness To Ourselves And Others

Forgiving someone for an act or behaviour can be a challenging journey but so can forgiving ourselves for something we’ve done or how we’ve behaved.

Forgiveness is a powerful and transformative process that can bring about profound healing, both mentally and emotionally. Holding onto resentment and anger weighs us down, preventing our growth and hindering our overall well-being.

Understanding Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not about condoning the actions of others or minimising the pain you may have experienced. Instead, it is a gift you give to yourself, allowing you to release the burden of negative emotions and reclaim your own peace of mind. By forgiving, you are not excusing the wrongdoing, but rather choosing to move forward without being anchored to the past and learning new choices and actions for the future.

The Benefits of Forgiveness

Emotional Liberation

Forgiveness frees you from the emotional chains that bind you to the hurtful event. It allows you to let go of resentment, anger, and bitterness, creating space for positive emotions and personal growth.

Enhanced Relationships

Forgiving others fosters healthier relationships. It opens the door to better communication, trust, and understanding, enabling you to build stronger connections with those around you. Forgiving ourselves builds a connection that we can grow with, it provides learning opportunities and new capabilities.

Increased Self-Esteem

Forgiveness is a powerful act of self-love. By choosing to forgive, you affirm your worth and prioritise your own well-being, leading to increased self-esteem and self-respect. Increasing our self-esteem and acknowledging our flaws but also our growth helps drive us forward.

So How Do I Start To Forgive?

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Allow yourself to feel the pain, anger, and disappointment associated with the wrongdoing. Denying or suppressing these emotions can hinder the forgiveness process. Emotions are our bodies way of releasing stress, if hold onto them we are only increasing the pressure inside. Try to expand your vocabulary of emotions and reflect on what they bring to you.

Acknowledge The Other Person’s Perspective

Empathy is a key component of forgiveness. Reflect to understand the motivations or circumstances that may have led the person to hurt you. This doesn't justify their actions but can provide context for healing. Showing empathy to ourselves, walking alongside our shadow self and recognising what we did, what led to the situation, how it played out and what we’d do differently is a step towards learning with ourselves.

Release Control

This can always be the hardest, especially when we’re looking to forgive ourselves. Recognising that you cannot change the past and releasing the need to control it. Changing your outlook to focus on what you can do to shape a positive future, what you’ve learnt from the experience and showing compassion to yourself. Be patient with yourself to heal from the experience, acknowledge the mistake but release it.

Set Boundaries

Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. Set boundaries to protect yourself from further harm and allow time and space for trust to be rebuilt. Often trust is broken because we didn’t have boundaries in the first place. Be clear with yourself as to the person you want to show up as and the expectations you have for others.

Summary

Holding onto grudges can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression. Forgiveness has been linked to improved mental health, reducing symptoms of these conditions and promoting overall well-being it is a profound act of self-love and resilience.

By choosing to forgive, you take control of your own narrative and pave the way for a brighter, more positive future but remember, it is a process that takes time and effort.

Forgiveness can be a challenging journey, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a safe space for you to talk, feel, share and process.